Happy 2nd Wedding Anniversary...

Oh well, time really flies... its our 2nd wedding anniversary... amidst the arguments and misunderstandings... we're still together... God really has a funny way of putting people together...

We may not have a celebrated it in anyway... hubby is busy with work, i'm busy being a full-time mom... but learning through all those years of being together and looking forward to many more is simply one of the best ways of thanking the good Lord of blessing our union as husband and wife...

Again, to my hubby and best friend, Happy 2nd wedding anniversary! =)

On my 32nd week...

My gosh! Time do really fly! Just yesterday we got the news from the strip that we're expecting our 2nd baby and now I'm already on my 32nd week (8mos.)... 4-6 more weeks and our new angel will say "Ola!" to our world... Right now, I'm enjoying every moment I have with Amar. Though she's being a brat most of the time, she still makes me thank God that she was sent to us... I just love her smile, how she makes "lambing" when she wants to be cuddled, how she kisses and hugs everyone she loves... how she kisses my tummy and says "baby"... i just love her for being herself... the coming weeks are sure going to be tough but hopefully my prayers will be answered... =)

July 24

its hard to understand how things work if you don't have an idea what it is, to begin with. you may have an idea what are the parts do, but doesn't fully understand the mechanics on how it'll go. its weird when something changes and you are left with no idea what to do with it.

right now, i'm a month or so away from giving birth to my 2nd baby. i'm at the crossroads where i really don't know where i'm supposed to go. i have sacrificed a lot already for my family. my hubby is happy with his new job (coz it is another milestone in his career)... i'm stuck with taking care of my eldest and in danger of losing my job because of that... i want to prove to myself that i'm worth something other than being a wife and a mother. though being a mother is a 24/7 job, i am happy seeing and being with my daughter all the time. but when you think about providing financially, it sometimes becomes a hindrance. i'm having a difficulty finding a "yaya" for amar and yet everyone seems not to mind it. i just wish someone would really offer a helping hand for me to able to go to work at least 2x a week.

i have decided to go work abroad by 2009. my hubby's job is good and has a lot of growing opportunities. i'm just starting my new job. i want my mom to stay at home when i work abroad so she could take care of the kids. i don't plan on going back here anymore. i want to leave everything, sacrifice my happiness for the sake of financially satisfying everyone. i even told my hubby that he can get a new wife as soon as i leave the country (seriously). it hurts me to say it and more to accept that it can be a fact soon. i just want everyone to be happy.

so there, those are my sentiments right now. i guess pregnant women are really sensitive... ciao for now.

Thanks Hon & Dad!

Today is, well, Sunday! The last day that we will have the time to rest... I'm doing my work and my hubby is watching the Ginebra game while... ironing our clothes! Yes, you read it right. My hubby does the ironing ever since my health problem worsened due to my previous callcenter stint. He is my handyman whenever he's at home. He does most of the physical tasks for me. He's in-charge with Amar every Saturday and Sunday... He gives her a bath, changes her diapers, looks after her the whole day... while I take a rest from all the week's work... I'm so lucky that he is willing to do all those things for us... =)

The Past... and Today...

I never would have known how my mom felt every time one of her children gets sick. I can still remember the first time we were told that our little Amar is showing signs that she is struggling with an infection. She was just a few days old. And it make a mom’s heart really bleed to death seeing her child in deep pain at such a young age.

Amar was diagnosed to have sepsis when she was just 6-days old. She was having diarrhea the whole day and her feces turned from yellow to dark green. Her skin and eyes are yellowish from the infection. I’ve got no one with me at home during that time. I texted my mom and my husband regarding the baby’s condition. They said that I should bring her to the doctor immediately. My mom and I brought her to the hospital where Lui’s older brother knows a very good pediatrician. She was the one who instructed him to bring Amar to the hospital so she could stop the infection from spreading and us losing our baby.

My heart really broke that night when the doctors tried to put IVs on my little angel’s hands and feet. They kept on trying to find a good vein wherein they could hook it up to the IV. My mom took the courage to stay in the emergency room for my little angel to hold on to. I just can’t take the pain. I got a room for us and waited until my hubby came to the hospital. Dr. Estephany Guerra came in to our room the following morning and ordered some blood and urine tests to be done. She explained to us the situation and the things that she will be doing to save our baby.

An incubator was ordered by the doctor where my baby will be staying in for about 4 days. I had to turn her little body, eyes covered with gauze bandages, every hour or so. It could help her skin get the melanin to develop continuously. Antibiotics are inserted in her IV. We kept watch on her day and night.

I never wanted to take my eyes off her. I sang to her lullabies when she is crying. I held her in my arms and sway her to sleep. I talked to her when she is asleep. I can see that my baby is born a fighter.

It was the Black Nazarene’s feast and I kept on praying, while watching the procession on TV, to the Nazarene to heal my daughter. I vowed to bring her to His Church every chance that I get. The following day, the doctor said that she’s on her way to recovery. I was so relieved! We were even allowed to leave the hospital 2 days earlier provided that I will be bringing her in back for her antibiotic shots. It’s a good thing that the nurse who took care of Amar in the hospital was someone related to us. Thanks April!

Anyway, as far as I can see, Amar is a bouncing baby girl. Taking on the world’s challenges as it comes along her way with a brave face. Though she cries once in a while, she is still a baby that needs her parents to guide her way.

I’m running low on battery so I need to rest now. Thank you Lord for putting everyone that I have right now in my life. May you bless them all always! =)

July 18

I’m not a fan of blogging or writing anything about myself… well of course, I do chat with my hubby when he’s at work. Aside from that I’ve kept mum about things going on with me…

I’m a few weeks away from giving birth to my son, about 6-7 weeks to be exact. Lately I’ve been feeling restless especially at night when he’s a bit active. Its just the time of the night when sleeping is again shying away from me. I’m watching cable with my hubby coz he’s not sleepy as well.

Amar, my oldest, is having stomachaches tonight. I’ve got to get in and out of my bed just to soothe her back to sleep. Our bed is cramped for 3 people and I’ve got scoliosis which made me take the floor and my camp-style bedding as my bed. Amar woke up atleast 2x tonight crying heavily and it’s a good thing that I’ve got acete de manzanilla to soothe her stomachaches due to gas spasms.

Anyway, this is just about it for tonight. I’ve got an aching back already and I feel like vomiting again. Oh… Olai, my baby boy, just told me he’s awake already. My tummy is moving like the waves and I get a kick or two before he starts moving around. It hurts at times but I believe its just one of the wonders of having a life growing inside of you.